I’m just thinking… Elena agrees with everything Damon says. So that’s the verbal part of the sire bond: red dress, can’t drink from the vein, calm down e.t.c. But there’s another part, and it came from Elena’s hallucination in 4x04. It came from Damon telling her, even in a hallucination, that she was a lot more like him than she was like Stefan. And VOILA! She starts to act more like Damon. She’s suspicious of Stefan, she doubts his love for her as a vampire, she now wants to stay a vampire, she is suddenly ok with casual sex (I mean, come on, this isn’t the kind of girl to do that, not with Matt or Stefan).
It doesnt explain her coniving with Damon in 4x02 behind Stefan’s back, or her actions at the frat party: BUT THIS DOES. A verbal command from Damon:
‘I say rip off the proverbial bandaid and let it bleed. You’re a vampire Elena, be a vampire… Vampires eat people. It’s part of the natural food pyramid. Trust me, you’re going to be miserable.’x
AND SHE WAS MISERABLE. Miserable with Stefan’s way of life. Miserable because she couldn’t feed herself. Poor sired Elena. What’s interesting is that when Damon first tells her to drink from humans, she says: ’No, Stefan’s right…’ and after the frat party she says ‘I should be going through all of this with Stefan.’ And finally, when she hallucinates him, she pushes him off decisively with a ‘NO’. She doesn’t want to have sex with him: before he told her he was more like him. It proves what Julie Plec said: Love is more powerful than the sire bond. And when Elena sees that college girls’ family: her compassion, her caring, her love for strangers is what stops her from following Damon’s order to drink from her.
When she drinks from Damon in the bathrooms he tells her to drink, and after that, as she asks questions, she is breathing heavily and staring at the wound. Not from desire (as if a vampire would like the taste of another vampire’s blood) but as she is struggling against the sire bond. And then she drinks.
It brings new meaning to the Delena scenes this season. And it brings new meaning to Stefans line: ‘Lately it seems like he’s able to get through to you. You trust him…’ But it’s not mere trust, it’s induced loyalty.
In 4x03 when she’s vamping out over Matt, Damon simply says ‘Stop!’ And her fangs disappear. Then he says ‘You’re a vampire now. You just have to learn the right way to be one. And I’m going to teach you.’ Hence the college trip.
Another thing I noticed by rewatching all the Delena scenes so far. Elena laughs at his jokes. Now I’m not saying Damon isn’t funny, he’s hilarious. But Elena’s usual reaction is to roll her eyes and dismiss him. You know it is, it’s part of their banter and relationship. As if she isn’t OOC this season guys!
Now I’m worried about something Damon said in 4x04:
‘We’re a predatory species, we enjoy the feed, the hunt, and the kill, and when the guilt gets too bad we switch off our humanity, and we revel in it… She already is like me… I can revel in it. I can make it fun’
Elena says to him:
‘When you tell me what a vampire should be, deep down I believe that you’re right, and I hate that feeling…’
^ Clearly sire bond. And she doesn’t like it. But when it comes to Stefan, she is still herself. The love comes through. It’s why she didnt tell him about the frat party, and tells Damon: ‘It was a mistake. I wasn’t myself.’
And in 4x05, after she’s decided she’s like Damon because of the hallucination (this is confirmed when Damon says ‘For someone who doesn’t want to be like me, you sure are good at it’), Damon tries to stop her from going through the tunnels to the Grill. But her love for Jeremy and Matt propels her to go. Buuut, ofcourse, she kills Connor, because Damon told her to.
What do you guys think? Does this explain a lot for you? For stelena shippers like me, it means we can’t lose faith. Every action that has hurt Stefan or angered us, she did because of her blood-bond with Damon.